


i'm sure she knows (part 2)

by Alexgalaxies



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Tension, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Needs a Hug, Yasmin Khan Loves The Doctor, at least kinda, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25176790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexgalaxies/pseuds/Alexgalaxies
Summary: Some additions to The Timeless Children, in which the Doctor and Yaz share their feelings about each other.Or more times Thasmin should have been acknowledged in the episode.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	i'm sure she knows (part 2)

**Author's Note:**

> I still think some things (not necessarily all) would've added quite a lot to acknowledge the obvious 'something' between Yaz and the Doctor.
> 
> Here it is, the long awaited part 2! Best read, paired with 'i'm sure she knows' but not necessary to understand this.
> 
> (I don't own these characters or any rights to the show!)

**Ⅰ**

The Doctor is locked in a cage of the Master’s making. She was paralyzed and afraid. There was nothing she could do but listen to the Master and his sadistic words. He was obviously thoroughly enjoying the fact that he had her where he wanted her; she was completely powerless to do anything to stop him.

Her mind spun, attempting to think of ways out of this, then she remembered something even more important than that. “Whatever you want with me,” She paused to find her words. “Fine, but save my friends,” She was pleading, “Don’t let the Cybermen take them,” The care for them was evident in her voice. It just seemed to spur the Master on. He was enjoying watching her suffer, failing to find a solution, left to beg for mercy. It was time for a new strategy. The Doctor tried to appeal to him using their past, their friendship.

The Master was having none of it. “We both know I don’t have a better nature, I lost that a long time ago,” He taunted, his nose twitching as the words came out. “No use in being sentimental, Doctor,” He shook his head at her. “So, no I won’t help them, and neither will you,” He took a few steps toward her. He had a sinister grin plastered on his face. He enjoyed seeing the Doctor so helpless, it meant that he had finally got the better of the Doctor. At long last, he had out done the notorious Doctor.

The Doctor didn’t want to have to beg, but if that gave her or her friends any chance then she would. “Please,” She all but shouted, all of what the paralysis would allow her. Her voice grew softer. “Please,” She looked at him with wide wet eyes.

He lessened his expression. “Maybe I will…” his gaze found the wall. His train of thought grew more sinister. “I think maybe I’ll keep one of them,” He toyed with her and her emotions. He looked back to the Doctor’s expression. “Maybe I’ll keep the one… as my companion...” His voice trailed off, he was trying to remember the name. He had a fist pressed to his head, then he pointed at the Doctor. “Yaz! I think I’ll keep that one, such a pretty thing,” his voice found a new excitement, seeing the Doctor panic. “Don’t you think?”

Horror displayed on the Doctor’s face. Her fists clenched themselves. Anger reignited within her. “Don’t you dare touch her,” She bared her teeth at him. Her arms flexed upwards then immediately stilled itself, the paralysis field now working even harder to keep her still.

The Master let out a laugh. “Have I struck a nerve?” He turned on his heels going down the steps. “I’m guessing you like that one, always did like the Earth girls, eh Doc?” He smiled to himself, he fiddled with the device in his hands. “Now I know; I’ll take special care of her,” He turned back towards the Doctor.

The Doctor glared at him. She remained silent. She understood now, he was toying with her. There was no real backing to his words. There was no way Yaz would ever join him. Besides, there was nothing she could say, it would only add fuel to his fire.

When he noticed the Doctor’s silence his eyebrows shifted. He wiped his forehead. The Doctor had fallen into a neutral state of being. The Master got annoyed, she had stopped reacting. It was so fun, now her not reacting was boring, infuriating even.

He jumped up the two stairs and got close to the cage. The Master decided to use another form of hurt. “Our history. It does mean something to me, it’s the rage and pain in my hearts,” He bared his teeth. He turned their history on it’s head, any of the Doctor’s fond memories should now be tainted with an announced hatred for them. She was looking away from him now. Before she could try to spoil his fun again, he decided now would be a good time to finally break her. “I’m sending you deep into the matrix to understand the truth… of Gallifrey and of the Time Lords,” He tilted his head at her. He caught her gaze. “Brace yourself,” He smiled, “This is going to hurt,” He smiled a devilish grin, deciding this would make him feel better.

With that the Doctor was forced into a deep sleep, her consciousness was being taken into the Matrix, and she was completely defenseless to stop it.

**Ⅱ**

Ravio spoke first when the last of the humans stood before the purple glow of the boundary. They saw Gallifrey through the bleary curtain of it. “The boundary, it’s real!” Her voice was full of shock. It had seemed so much like a fairy-tale, even she was starting to doubt its existence. The seven humans that were left had dreamed of this moment, getting to safety from the chaos that swirled around them for years, this was nothing like they expected. Now, with only three of them left, a loss of people they knew, these three would live on for those they had lost. All the trouble, and yet a gain of four new people who were going to help.

Ryan spoke up next, “Yeah, and the Doctor’s on the other side,” He had been there when she entered with the Master. He was the first to reveal that the image of the other side was Gallifrey. The weight of it was heavy at first but he shoved the realizations away because the Doctor would now need their help. “The Master took her,”

Yaz turned at the statement. Her concern for the Doctor growing exponentially. The Master had the Doctor. He had been the cause of the sudden change in their alien friend. Yaz saw what was happening with her and that worried her, the Doctor had been more reluctant than usual to share things with them. She held them at arm’s length and that was concerning enough, but learning that the Master had been the cause of it, the Master had taken this woman away from her, _that_ made her blood boil.

The Fam looked between each other. All wondering what to do next, except for Yaz, she made a decision she would do whatever it took to get to her. Ravio looked to Ko Sharmus. “So, how do we do this?” She tilted her head up at the transparent wall.

“The boundary will absorb us,” Ko Sharmus answered instantly. He had observed it enough times, it was easy to describe. “But you have to take the step,”

Graham nodded with hesitance. “Step into the unknown,” It actually felt like a worrisome moment, there was no guarantee about what would be on the other side. He swallowed. “Who fancies going first?” he joked, he expected maybe Ko Sharmus to take the plunge. After all, being here for who knows how long seeing people go through to another side, he had to be curious. Or maybe even Ravio, she had been fighting for this moment, just to even get here was an accomplishment.

Alas, it was Yaz, her feet moved before her brain could even process it. The Doctor was on the other side, there was absolutely no reason she wouldn’t go first. The woman she adored, was on the other side needing their help. Yaz wanted, scratch that, Yaz needed to be there for her, no matter what. She took the first step across. “Ah!” She felt herself being pulled across, stumbling when she landed. Her chest heaved. She was on Gallifrey. 

The air was different, it carried a different indescribable texture. The smoke just added to its thickness. It weighed heavy in her lungs, but she soon adjusted.

The others came filing through after her. Everyone’s eyes were adjusting to the smoke still billowing from everywhere, the ash still falling. The absolute destruction struck them frozen as they took in the view of this broken world. 

“This is it, Gallifrey,” Yaz spoke. She paused. “Where she’s from,” She felt footsteps making their way towards her and past her. Graham set a hand on Yaz’s shoulder. “The Doctor’s home,” She couldn’t help the tears threatening to spill. “It’s all gone,” She remembered how she felt about Orphan 55, the fear she felt for the future of her world, just one possible future the Doctor had said. It could be changed, fixed even. Not this, they were standing in the remnants of the destruction of the Master’s doing. This was final, it couldn’t be changed with some hope and wishful thinking. She could only imagine how the Doctor felt, this was infinitely worse in comparison. At least on Orphan 55, there were still humans around, this, the Doctor’s whole race was gone. This wasn’t something anyone could have survived.

Graham looked at Yaz, she turned to face him. “You shouldn’t have gone in first, you don’t know what could’ve happened,” His face was full of concern. He had seen Yaz be reckless before and he didn't want it to yield any worse results.

She shrugged his hand from her shoulder. “How can you say that?” She was fully facing him, her disbelief was showing on her face. She was immediately defensive. “She would’ve done it for us, in a heartbeat,” She felt herself take a sharp intake of breath, then she was flooded with regret. She hadn’t meant to take a tone with Graham, especially after their talk, she just cared so much about the Doctor and that trumped everything else. “I’m sorry,” She said in a low voice.

Ryan spoke up this time. “Listen, Yaz, we know how you feel about the Doctor-”

Her eyes went wide. “What? I don’t feel anyth-” She was urging Ryan not to expose her right now. Maybe her feelings had been obvious but they didn’t need to be shared with the group. Now definitely wasn’t the time for her to confront how she felt either. The timing was always wrong, even if she did want to deal with how she felt something always interrupted it. And above all else, she couldn’t just add another strain for the Doctor to have to deal with.

“We know you care about her,” Ryan cut her off. “But she wouldn’t just barge in without a plan, is what I’m trying to say,” He finished in a rushed fashion. He looked to Graham briefly. “And I’m sure what Graham meant was maybe we all go in together, no one left behind or _alone_ ,”

Yaz nodded, finally listening to reason.

Graham looked at the burning citadel and the fires erupting around it. “Look at all of this, it’s a mess,” he shook his head. He couldn’t help his pessimism. “We’re never gonna find her in this lot,” It was no use, there was no dissuading Yaz from being reckless like this, especially when the Doctor was involved. She would search the city all by herself if she had to.

Yaz turned away from him. “Yeah, we are,” her eyes searched between Graham and Ryan. “We’re gonna find her, and we’re going to rescue her,” Her newfound positivity was admirable but they found it difficult considering their surroundings and whatever the hell they would have to do to get out of this mess. “She’s done it for us enough times, now it’s our turn,” Then she shifted so that Ravio, Yedlarmi, and Ethan could see her. “This is only going to get more dangerous from here, you don’t have to come,” 

Ravio spoke for the other two boys. “We owe you,” She gave a soft smile. “We’re in,” She turned to the boys “Right?” The two boys agreed with her. “Besides, we’ve come all this way anyhow,”

Ryan turned to Ko Sharmus. “You coming?”

“I’ve already lived longer than I expected. Must be a few more things I can blow up before I’m done,” He smirked.

They all gave each other the last ‘are you sure?’ looks before they began their journey to the city enclosed within its broken sphere. Yaz once again took the first steps. On the way, they prepared a plan, a plan to finally get rid of the Cybermen and to save the Doctor from the Master.

**Ⅲ**

The group found themselves walking for a long amount of time, searching high and low for traces of where the Master had taken the Doctor. They searched corridors of buildings and alleyways. One of them had an idea. They skipped over the minor buildings and made their way to the most important looking one. Hallway after hallway, room after room, they finally reached the one containing the Doctor.

Yaz shouted through the circular doorway. “Doctor!” She caught a glimpse of the grey coat and blonde hair through the smoke erupting around her. Panic surged through her. The Doctor was on the floor. It looked like something had exploded and the Doctor wasn’t conscious. Yaz begged to any and all gods that the Doctor was still alive. Yaz was the first to run down the stairs and reach her.

Graham followed behind but gave her room to check and see if she was okay, Yaz had police experience and was trained in this type of scenario. “Yaz, is she alright?”

Ryan called the Doctor’s name. 

Everyone came around them waiting for Yaz to answer the question, the new humans were readying themselves to make known their apologies for their loss.

Yaz retrieved her prior knowledge of first aid training. She reached for her wrist, quickly finding the point in which to search for a pulse. “Please be okay,” she begged. She waited for a millisecond that felt entirely too long. Then she felt it, a double pulse from the Doctor’s double hearts. Relief washed over her, she wanted nothing more than to hug this woman and take her somewhere safe where she could just rest and recover from whatever the hell happened. “She has a pulse, she’s alive,” The next thing she did was search the Doctor for any visible wounds. 

Ryan spoke, hoping that maybe just maybe the Doctor would hear him. “Doctor, we’re here for you,”

Yaz whispered. “It’s okay, you’re safe, I won’t let anything happen to you,” Yaz held the Doctor’s hand in hers. “Please, wake up,” She squeezed it lightly. “I never got to-” Her voice caught in her throat. Yaz felt a tear roll down her cheek.

The Doctor’s eyes became to flicker open, her vision adjusted through the haze. She looked up and saw her companions. She smiled despite the ache in her body. Her voice was barely audible. “My. Fam,” her eyes threatened to close again. She smiled looking up between the three people who were smiling back at her. Yaz had the biggest smile of them all, it looked like Yaz was fighting back tears. The Doctor squeezed with the hand Yaz was holding trying to comfort her to let her know she was okay. After all that she had just been through, she was still trying to do things for other people.

Ko Sharmus spoke up behind them. “It’s good to see you alive,”

The Doctor sat up. Yaz halted her movements. “Careful, you’re hurt,” Two careful arms held the Doctor’s shoulders still.

The Doctor shrugged it off. “No, I’m fine,” She felt her body tense as an aftershock of the pain. “It’s just a scratch,” Her fists clenched. She wasn’t hiding the ache in her body well.

“Don’t ever leave us like that again,” Yaz wrapped her arms around the blonde carefully.

The Doctor returned the hug softly, briefly resting her head on Yaz's shoulder. Then she looked up at the fog clearing from around them. She saw the other humans gathered around them. “Who are they? Are we having a party?” She squinted trying to make out their faces. Then her eyes focused. “Oh,” Yaz let go and leaned back to look at the Doctor. Her mind caught up with her body waking up. Her memories of inside the Matrix flooded and took over. “My memories, they blew the Matrix,” She smiled to herself.

Everyone shared confused glances between one another.

The Doctor seemed incoherent to everyone in the room. “She’s clever, me? I’m clever, we’re all clever. So many, however many that may be…” She shook her head. The Doctor moved to stand. 

Yaz helped her up swinging one of her arms around her shoulder and her own arm under the Doctor’s waist.

“Alright, off we go,” her knees buckled. She was now fully leaning on Yaz. “Wait, I’m missing something,” Yaz helped her get steady. She looked around the room, trying to remember her last conversation with the Master. “The Master is creating an army of Cybermen with the bodies of Time Lords, a new race,” Panic showed on her face. “An endlessly regenerating army,” She let go of Yaz. “I have to stop him,” She stood on her own as best she could.

Yaz grabbed the side of the Doctor’s coat. “Not like that, you can’t,” She looked the Doctor in the eyes. 

The Doctor tilted her head with sympathy. “I have to, none of you should even be here,” She looked to the rest of the humans.

Ko Sharmus spoke up. “We have explosives,” He stepped forward. 

Ryan quickly followed suit. “And a plan,” she said.

Graham shed some light on the situation. “The Cyber ship’s parked above the middle of your hometown, it’s ripe for blowing up,” He nodded.

Ravio took a step forward. “We’re going to place them around the ship strategically, and some close to the core,” She seemed proud of herself.

“Yes! Good, do that, but that won’t solve all of our problems. We can’t let the CyberMasters off this planet, they have to be stopped,” The Doctor took a pause, still trying to think. “The bombs aren’t enough. We don’t have anything else, the Master’s seen to that, he’s seen to everything,” She looked defeated and for the first time genuinely afraid without hiding it.

Yaz quickly gained the Doctor’s attention by tugging on her sleeve. “Are you alright Doctor?” Her voice was full of concern. The Doctor almost never acted this way, never voiced her doubts when they were this bad. She always masked it or hid it until later.

The Doctor ignored the question. She turned away with her eyes closed trying to think. She sighed with a realization. Then she smiled, finally her brain working towards the right thing. “That’s it,” The Doctor spun around facing the humans. “I couldn’t see it before,” She squinted her eyes. “What he said to me,”

Ethan finally found a moment to say something. “Who said what?” He asked.

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Ashad, the half-Cyberman,” Her mind flickered to his projection. _“The death of everything is within me.”_ He had said. “That’s what he said!” The Doctor scoffed. It was half of what she needed to figure this out. She needed more. “What does it mean?” She paced in a triangle on the floor.

Ravio remembered something useful. “There’s a myth, I heard it years back. I didn’t think-” She paused.

The Doctor turned to the woman. “What? Tell me,” She had a look of desperation in her eyes. “Anything pertaining to this could help,”

Yedlarmi finished Ravio’s thoughts. “The ‘Death Particle’ it’s called,”

Ravio nodded a quick ‘thank you’ to the boy. “Legend says there’s a particle hidden within the cyber-man’s chest, it’s supposed to be powerful enough to wipe out all organic life in the surrounding area,”

“How much?” The Doctor asked. 

“Roughly a whole planet,” She answered.

Ryan’s face fell sad. “Sounds grim,” Was all he could manage.

The Doctor turned to him. “Or it’s a solution!” She seemed enthused, but not in a happy way. “A timer, to set off an explosive to activate the particle! Then evacuation plan,” She nodded, this was good, _this_ was a plan.

Ko Sharmus stood confused. “Only if you’ve got a way for us to get off the planet before detonation,” he said sternly. He didn’t want to blow up or be killed by a death particle.

Figuring that could wait the Doctor moved on. “Are the explosives ready?” There were things she still needed to do before they even thought about leaving anyway. Priorities lie within the CyberMasters.

Ravio nodded. “Just need to set them up,”

“Great, I’ll deal with the rest,” The Doctor wasted no time. “We all meet in the corridor below the carrier,” She knew it was a long shot, but she still knew this building like she hadn’t been gone for millenia. It also may have helped the Master walked her through here. Everyone hesitated for a moment, waiting for further instruction. “Go on then!” The Doctor clapped.

The human’s promptly left the room. Ryan, Yaz, and Graham were left behind. 

“Now I need to get a fix on the Master,” She reached for her temple, her head still hurt. Yaz quickly stepped closer. She grabbed the Doctor’s hand. The Doctor looked at her blankly.

“I’m here,” Yaz said simply. “Be careful,”

The Doctor swallowed before nodding. She leaned her head down to focus. Closing her eyes, her mind did all the work. She used her mind to search for him. “Got him,”

**Ⅳ**

They had set the bombs. Everything was in place, finally they would have their escape. They’d be rid of the Master and his dreadful plan, no more converting, no more new CyberMasters. They had made it, this ship was destroyed and they found safety in the shelter of a new TARDIS.

Ryan was the first through its doors after the Doctor. He looked around. It was completely different, a stark contrast to the dark and dim lighting of the Doctor’s own time ship, this one was bright white with blue accents. “It’s a TARDIS,” His gaze flickered to the rest of the group filing in. “It is a TARDIS, right?” He asked.

Graham spoke up behind him. “Looks like it,”

The Doctor made quick handy work at the controls. It was meant to have eight pilots, she was all they had. Normally that was no issue but now there was a time constraint and a threat beyond those doors she couldn’t put off any longer.

Yaz was in the back of the group, she took in the sight before her. She hadn’t realized there were more, it hadn’t occurred to her before. She was too focused on the blue box that belonged to the Doctor to care.

Ravio looked around, confused. This looked like any other room, with some weird control panel in the middle. “What’s going on? What is this?”

Yaz turned to the woman steering clear of the Doctor rounding the console. “This can take us all home,” She explained.

Ko Sharmus reached for the panel, a sound drew him to touching it. He was curious about the machine. 

The Doctor quickly stopped him. She had a goal in mind that she didn’t want him tampering. “Don’t touch. Still working,” She couldn’t fix it if they went to the wrong time, she was setting it for them because she already knew she couldn’t be there for them. She looked up to him. “Any explosives left?”

“One,” He reached for the one in his pouch. He showed her the device. “Emergencies only,”

“Timer?”

“Hand detonation only,”

The Doctor sighed. Somehow she knew that this was how the universe would make this play out. It was never fair, why would it start now? “Yeah. Course,” She rolled her eyes. Then she nodded. “I’ll take it,” She stood tall, making herself seem confident. Ko Sharmus gave her a look. He passed her the device slowly. The Doctor quickly took it from him, eyeing the device in her grasp. She didn’t want to back out of this decision.

Everyone was nervous watching the exchange. Their eyes were wide. _Is this really happening?_ They shared the thought.

“Doc, what’re you thinking?” He furrowed his brows at her.

She looked down at the floor. She took a breath before beginning her sentence. “One option left,” She fixed her eyes on Graham. She couldn’t bear looking at anyone else right then. He tilted his head at her, confused. The Doctor pulled out the mini-Ashad and showed it to them.

The companions' faces showed horror. The realization that the Doctor was going to sacrifice herself set in. Ryan looked down at the console and Yaz couldn’t tear her eyes away from the blonde. 

The feeling of loss flooded through her, she felt regret. There was so much she had wanted to say. Feelings she hadn’t been ready to acknowledge fully. But she was ready now and had been for some time, she just never found the right time for it. Yaz looked over to the boys, checking if this was all actually real. She wished she were dreaming and that this was some nightmare, not that she was really losing the Doctor.

“I have to use the Death Particle on Gallifrey,” She paused “On my home,” She shivered. She had to destroy her home and the possibility of life on it ever again. The Doctor would lose Gallifrey again, by her own hand again. She finally looked at Yaz. She saw the tears forming in Yaz’s eyes. It was breaking her hearts, she looked away. “On the Master and the race he created out of the Cybermen and my people,” She nervously glanced between her friends.

“You sure you want to do that?” Ryan asked.

“I’m sure I don’t want to do that, but I have no other choice,” The Doctor’s chest felt heavy. “If he and his creations get off this planet, there’s no telling what he’ll do. I won’t be able to stop him, nothing will be able to,” She forced herself to look at the other humans. It was a silent truce between them, if the companions were to interfere, then they would stop them. “I started this. Shelley, the Cyberium. It’s on me to fix it,” Her eyes found their way back to her friends.

Ko Sharmus looked unsure of the situation. It was like he was arguing with himself internally.

“Alone,” the Doctor finished.

“What?” Yaz spoke up. She was awestruck.

“The TARDIS will take you back to Earth,” She looked back to the humans. “You can settle in the 21st century,”

Surprisingly Ravio disagreed. “You’re not serious? Are you?”

The Doctor fixed her eyes on the console. “Deadly,”

“What about you?” Ryan asked. “You’re gonna-” He couldn’t finish his sentence.

The Doctor felt her throat tighten. “That’s the way it was to be,” Silence fell within the room. “I would do that in a heartbeat for you,” Her eyes flickered to Yaz. “For this universe,” This cruel unfair universe. She looked at all of her friends. All of them an intense sadness in their eyes for the situation. “For my Fam,” She felt herself trembling. It was time to leave. She glanced at Yaz, then shifted her eyes away and looked back at her egain. A last look, at someone she loved. She turned to leave.

Yaz couldn’t help herself. She rushed over grabbing the Doctor by her arm. “We’re not letting you go,” her voice cracked. “You’re not doing this,” She pulled the Doctor backwards, closer to her, causing the blonde to stumble over.

“Get off me, Yaz,” The Doctor shouted. She hadn’t meant to. This was just already harder than it needed to be. She found her feet and finally met Yaz’s eyes. They were so full of sadness. She had never meant to hurt Yaz, she never wanted to hurt Yaz. A beat passed. “Please,” The Doctor begged, tears threatening to spill.

Yaz felt a tear slip down her cheek. She had been trying to hold them in but this sadness was worse than everything she had felt all day. Yaz let go of the Doctor.

The Doctor saw it slip. It felt like an ocean threatening to drown her. The Doctor’s jaw trembled. She wanted to say something to do something. She wanted to come up with a brilliant solution that would solve everything but she couldn’t.

“Yaz,” Ryan spoke. “Come on,” He said sternly. It was like an order. This was the Doctor’s business and the Doctor’s decision.

Yaz nodded ever so slightly. She took a very small hesitant step from the Time Lord. Her eyes never left the Doctor.

Surging forward without any regard, the Doctor couldn’t help it. A hand met Yaz’s and the other rested at the side of her head. She pressed a kiss to Yaz’s forehead. The Doctor closed her eyes and focused. Two fingers met Yaz’s temple. The next moment everything changed. Their surroundings changed, they were in an entirely different place.

Yaz opened her eyes after feeling like she had been pulled from her body. “Where are we?” Yaz sighed. Her mind was still catching up with the sudden change. She looked around. It looked like outside, the sky was overcast and the grass was green. She wondered how they had moved, a part of her wanted to believe that the past events had been a figment of her imagination and she and the Doctor were actually alone together on a hill. There was a dull ache coursing through her, she knew what she wanted wasn’t real.

The Doctor had pulled from her recent memories. It was more simple than manufacturing something else. This was the same place from the Matrix on the hill. “Still on the TARDIS,” She glanced around, her eyes adjusted to the surroundings. She briefly noted that she missed a detail and quickly got over it. The Doctor was truly just glad she was able to bring Yaz here.

Yaz squinted. “This doesn’t look like the-” Her eyes searched the surroundings for anything that could have been an indication they were just in a really large room. Perhaps another part of the TARDIS.

The Doctor took a step closer to Yaz. “Physically we’re still on the ship, all the humans are still around us,” She mimicked Yaz in looking around. It hurt to look at Yaz directly. It put a pit in the bottom of her stomach, dread for what was to come.

“Then what is this?” Yaz looked back at the blonde.

“A Time Lord trick, we’re in my mind,” The Doctor explained. “I brought your consciousness here,” She pointed at the ground beneath their feet. “I can perceive time differently than you which allows us some more time,” The Doctor swallowed. “It’s not much,” Her expression shifted. She suddenly felt like this was a mistake. That Yaz would see this as her taunting her.

A hopeful look found its way into Yaz’s eyes. “Is it enough?” Yaz asked earnestly. Her bottom lip trembled. She was afraid of the answer.

“For what?” The Doctor shook her head, needing clarification.

Yaz felt what had to be tears threatening to spill. “To find a way out of this?” Yaz wanted anything that could help them out of this. She couldn’t lose the Doctor like this. Not after all the time they have spent together. She couldn’t just lose the Doctor, they had drifted apart because of the Master, because of Gallifrey. Yaz just wanted the Doctor back, she wanted all of the tomorrows after they figured a way out of this. Yaz wanted the Doctor to finally talk about it all. She silently prayed for some way for the Doctor to survive this, to not have to sacrifice herself.

“No, I’m sorry it’s not,” The Doctor shook her head. Now it all felt so much worse. There was no way out of this. This was a goodbye she realized. A real goodbye. Something she had always tried to avoid. The Doctor has always hated goodbye’s. They were the worst, they just hurt, if you never say goodbye then there was always the choice to come back. There might be no coming back from this. All that was left for the two women was to say everything left unsaid.

Yaz felt angry. Not at the Doctor, but at everything else. “Then why bring me here?” She clenched a fist.

The Doctor looked down in shame. It was selfish, to do this to Yaz, to prolong her torment. She was putting off the inevitable, taking extra time, unnecessary time. “I couldn’t just leave you like that Yaz,” She tried to justify what she did. She felt herself sniffle. “I couldn’t let the last conversation we ever have be me shouting at you,” She raised a hand. She wanted nothing more than to reach out for Yaz. She dropped it weakly. “I couldn’t- I’m sorry,” Her expression faltered, giving Yaz an unfiltered look at everything she felt.

Yaz felt the moment ending. She knew she needed to remind the Doctor, maybe genuinely admit it. There’s no better time for this. If not now, then definitely never. “Doctor I-”

“Don’t make this harder than it already is,” She had to stop Yaz’s words. She couldn’t bear them. If Yaz said them, she might never leave. She might leave with them. She could let everything burn, universe be damned. All because she was equally in love with Yaz. “This is already hard enough Yaz, I already don’t want to go,” She moved to wipe the tear that streaked down Yaz’s cheek.

Yaz grabbed the hand and held it in place. She turned into the touch. Yaz pressed a light kiss to the soft skin. “Why else bring me here?” Her voice shook as she spoke. “You need to know how I feel. Especially if I’m never gonna get another chance,” Her brown eyes met hazel ones. The Doctor held her tongue, allowing Yaz to speak. She couldn’t stay selfish, the least she could do is let Yaz have this. “I love you, and I think I have for a long time,”

The Doctor felt her chest heave. “Yaz-” Suddenly she was pulled into a tight hug. Her whole body froze. Her knees felt shaky. Yaz squeezed her and her mind finally caught up. She returned the hug. She held onto Yaz. The Doctor hadn’t realized how badly she needed a hug. One she could appropriately feel and return., even if it wasn’t ‘real’. She had been so focused on solving the problem, not her own feelings, let alone her companions feelings.

Yaz spoke into blonde hair. “You don’t have to say anything, I get it if it’s too hard, or you don’t feel the same,” She noted the Doctor’s lack of words.

The Doctor pulled away to look at Yaz directly. She saw confusion displayed on her face.“Yaz, that’s so not true.” The Doctor swallowed. This was finally her opportunity to finally say it. She forced herself to say them. “I love you, Yasmin,” Her tone was genuine. 

“Can I?” Her brown eyes flickered down to pink lips.

The Doctor’s mouth fell open slightly. She bit her lip. She was weighing whether or not this was a good idea or an absolutely terrible idea.

Yaz noticed the Doctor’s conflict. She looked down, she figured it was probably too much. She didn’t need to make this even more difficult for her. 

The Doctor finally settled on an option. Since Yaz wanted to, she would allow both of them the simple pleasure. She tilted Yaz’s head up by her chin. She pressed a kiss to her lips. It was soft and affectionate at first, then it quickly turned into one that was full of desperation. They both ached for more time. More time for this, more of the universe together, more time for each other.

They pulled away breathlessly. “It breaks my hearts that I have to do this,” She pressed her forehead against Yaz’s. “To protect you, to protect the universe, I’d do anything,”

Yaz moved to wipe the Doctor’s own tears. When had she started crying? She wondered. She stroked the sides of the Doctor’s blonde hair. “Let’s find a way out, then, together, please,” She begged.

“I can’t, we’re out of time Yaz,” The Doctor shook her head. 

“No! Please,” Yaz all but shouted. Yaz grasped the grey sleeve tightly with a hand and held the hand within with her other hand. “Let me go with you, I’m with you remember,” She searched for some resolve that she could wear down.

There was never the possibility that the Doctor would even consider that. “No Yaz, I can’t do that,” The Doctor placed a hand over Yaz’s on her coat. “You don’t deserve a fate like that,” She felt the grip loosen and she removed the hand.

“Neither do you,” Her voice was really low. She knew there was no talking the Doctor out of this. A beat passed. Yaz reluctantly let go. “Don’t make me go back,” 

The Doctor cradled Yaz's face in one of her hands. “Promise me something,” She looked at Yaz expectantly.

“What?” She was half-tempted to say ‘anything’ but she knew better. The Doctor would turn that into her letting go of the Doctor, forever.

“Don’t stop living your life,” Her voice was soft but carried a lot of weight. It meant the Yaz had to stay alive, stop being so reckless with herself, not let her mental health get _too_ bad. Worst of all Yaz needed to move on from the Doctor.

Yaz looked absolutely devastated. “Doctor, I-” 

“Yaz,” The Doctor interrupted.

Yaz nodded. “One last-”

The Doctor granted her wish. It was a quick peck that barely felt like anything but it still sent electricity through her nerve endings.

Then they were back with the group. Only a couple of seconds had passed. The Doctor pulled away from Yaz, a lingering feeling of lips were left on Yaz’s forehead. The Doctor took a last look at Yaz. She quickly acknowledged the rest of the group. “Live great lives,” She forced herself to turn around and walk out of the TARDIS.

**Ⅴ**

Yaz started for the door. Ryan grabbed her by her arm and pulled her closer to him. She ripped her arm from his grasp. Her quickly moved into hugging her from behind attempting to restrain her. “Ryan let me go!” She kicked her feet and missed entirely. “NO!” She shouted. Yaz elbowed him harshly, causing him to groan in pain, but he didn’t cease his grip of the woman. “Please, we have to help her. I promised her… I promised.” her voice faded out.

Ko Sharmus gave a look of sympathy to Yaz and Ryan still holding her. “Yaz, I have to be the one to go,” He said to her. Her face was tear streaked and she looked utterly heartbroken. He couldn’t bear the sight of her anymore. The guilt was overwhelming. “This is my burden to bear. I don’t have time to explain, but I’m going,” He started walking to the door. Then he paused looking back at Ryan. “Keep her here,”

Ryan nodded a silent promise. 

Ravio was the one to stop him next. “Wait,”

Ko Sharmus cut her off. “We don’t have time, and neither does she. I have to make sure this is all over, myself,” The he finally turned to leave. He exited the TARDIS. Then a wheezing sound appeared out of nowhere and then the door seemed to fade away leaving an empty doorway in the hallway. 

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a while in the making, but here it is, finally! 
> 
> I'm glad to finally share it <3


End file.
